ON
a similarly “its a bummer kind of day” topic….
today. i finally went and did it.
i gave up the one thing i love. thank you, sucky medical issues of myself.
choir, you have been oh so good to me over the past 11 years. so good. you have got me through crazy times, and brought me a crazy amount of crazy friends that i would never in my life be able to go each day without. that one hour with you everyday, made me the person i am today. that one hour with you everyday, brought me the joy that would get me through the rest of it.
now, i will have to prove it to myself that i can go through this next semester without that one hour everyday. everyone is telling me that i will be happy and its for the best for me now. i cant help but think that i wont be the same person, and i think that is what scares me the most. not being the happy and smiling person i always am. i dont like not having that control.
i guess it showed today, with the tears that i shed, how much i love you. i do. i love you. all i can hope for is that when i pick you up next year, you will have saved all the amazing oppurtunities you bring for me too!
its been a long and excruciating 8 months.. i didn’t think that it would be another 7. but i guess this is where is begins, or continues? who knows anymore. obviously not the doctors. and obviously not me.
the one thing i DO know.. is that something good will come out of this. i can only hope for that. i really would like knowing what that is… asap.
(remember, i love you choir, YOU ROCK.)
